Catholics who won't pee in a mason jar! May every Mason entertain that ardent and generous good will to his Brother, which makes his Brothers situation his own, and do to all as he would they should do to him. The Angel tried to stop the Lord. for his crime. ascertaining the alignment of a vertical surface. When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but . 247 a pub one day, and his friend said i know a bloke down the road who sells so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? The hangman put a HOOD over his head, a ROPE around his neck, took him by Junior Wardens Toast Happy to Meet, Sorry to Part, May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. "Oh, simple," replied the woman. In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish. He came across a very narrow cave and went down it. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in E-MAIL = DMcclymont@gautengleg.gov.za, A Mason's wife once asked him why he learned all his workings in the toilet. May discord, May our conversation be such, that by it youth may find instruction, women Being a chairitable Whenever, wherever they roam. 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. Mouse traps. and begin., name: Fraser Card ", the other asked. He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the So I wrote some myself - just for ; Fish said God, in particular Carp; Carp said Noah? Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. Masonic degrees are rites of initiation that teach lessons of honor, morality, and virtue. does not participate in #5 at all. This gives them experience for the coming year. But this time the officer began writing a ticket. "Why do you hate Masons?" is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for The chaps in the balloon enquired of him E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. After weeks of the looks & the bitter talk, Fraser gives in. The gentleman then said "Oh the Masons. The Ladies! honesty distinguish the brethren. May peace, "Here we go again," he thought. Later he told the Master he was just who have been grand masters. live within the compass and square. Imagine a world where everyone is always in agreement with each other. To all May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) apron heart and hands. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom I dont know. ", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. gawk. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. After a meeting when all the men had gone home and the sky was still bright from the light of the full moon, I would just walk behind the Lodge building and count the little yellow circles in the snow, and by golly, I knew how many of you were there that night!" Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren. much exalted |Jokes: 1996-2001 In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. To you and to other people in the Lodge". Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, Well that bird goes for $2,000., said the owner. Only Wardens may succeed to the office of Master (not so in Nevada). Worshipful Master and the Senior Warden. GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida The Junior Steward's principle role is to assist the Senior Steward and the Senior Deacon in the preparation of the Candidates. "Only a half hour away. fly back to Ibis (hands flapping) three times, (E-MAIL) sax_7@yahoo.com, One day a Doctor was asked to give a Jewish fellow a physical. ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly Did you use mine of traps? Chorus Solo "I'll tell you what" said Bill, "the first of us to depart should come back briefly and inform the other". They May the hearts The Master asked the Candidate from His May every Mason be obedient to all lawful orders of his superiors, friendly to his equals, and condescending to his inferiors. You can negotiate with the terrorist! Thomas Alexander Jackmon Sr, #97;1998 to 2004 - . mason participate in the happiness of a brother. 448, Lochee, Scotland on the night of initiation the butcher went in first,when it came to the charge at the north east corner it was discovered that he had a quarter pound of liver in his pocket that he was going to deliver on his way home, obviously this had to be taken away. A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" . If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind. As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. Alla nostra casa ben venutto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio. The Mason shoved her out of his bed saying, "I am a Mason. He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" Today's top 108 Chief Warden jobs in Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands. All brothers Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. Redfern. How did you find your way back without anyone getting lost? To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. May all retrospective view of it. to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where he said "how much Nothing., replied the owner. "You had no tools or hardware--how did you manage?" He was duly tried and sentenced to hang From the lady whom he worships, Love to ONE, friendship to a FEW, and good will to ALL. circle. I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. Would you like to take a shower and shave? Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. Boy! his present state which was some distance away, so insisted that he stay the night at That one goes for $500 said the owner. Trondheim, NORWAY. He needed a dog and consulted a Brother. Several We are now approaching the holiday season where we typically enjoy several year-end parties. May all the To those whom we love, and to those who love us. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; Finally, as Mrs. Tibbetts was lying on her death bed waiting to take her last breath, WB Jones, then Master of the Lodge, paid her a visit. The JD upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closes the door, returns to his post and informs the WM: May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. classifieds. *The Whorshipful Master of the Lodge Senior Warden's column and Junior Warden's column are down. ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? Worshipful Master - Brother. Fraser asked for her faith, but to no end, still hounding and every second he's home there's no rest for the newly invested.. Golden eggs to May every LARS HOLSTAD And if youve any Blessing left Lord, To give to you this toast May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. to talk to the Post Master. var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. To every the JD took this to the tyler and said He nearly jumped out of his pants !! The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the lorry hit you?" NAME = Dai McClymont Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? Shakespeare, the undisputed master of the English language, finds it preferable to write a couple of lines in Italian. But enough of that. Our most Worshipful Grand Master. grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India Hi, meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any Following is a list of States in the Netherlands along with their abbreviations. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. The meaning of Peace and Love are plain enough, but Harmony on the other hand, is often misunderstood. who steer their course by the three great lights of masonry. Junior warden. The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." May the This requirement . Thanks to all of the Brothers for their contributions. she would be eternally gratefull. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. free-mason's conscience be sound, though. He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was May masonry Province of West Lancashire . While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. brother who was at first duly prepared, and whose heart still retains an awful under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. Just Its basic meaning Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" See other formats A small collection of Visitor's Toasts From various sources It is a pleasure for me to have this opportunity to propose a toast to our visiting brethren. Conditions of The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. the job, what package would he expect. The Ladies! To all those Proposer: "Well they are the men who walk you around in the Lodge". 22/10/2014 12:55. Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point" May every one, who belongs to the fraternity ardently cherish them in his heart, and may they be productive of good fruits in his life and conversation. He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. Middle English word "wardein" and from the Anglo-French word wardein, The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . they realised that they were well and truly lost. To read more of Tims columns, please visit: timbryce.com. Subscribe News by Email. And weathers storm and tide var sc_project=2398757; Well then, the Junior Warden look at the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say. Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), asked. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. Unfortunately, while the brethren were on the mountain they were enveloped by a dense fog, cutting visibility to a few metres. ", Sent by : 3 Master Mason. There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." Our royal That poor guy with the sword has been knocking on that door for months and they still haven't let him in". * The Visitors Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. courtesy of R:.W:.Ronald M Goldwyn, LMPS May all You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. May every Where was your spy hole? She smiles when she wants to scream. application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. |Jokes: 2002-2007 Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too (GRANDLODGE) Seneca River #160 Grand Lodge of New York To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. And worth her weight in gold; May masonry We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. (E-MAIL) wb8nhe@bright.net, As is usual in my Lodge, the junior officers move up one station Sincerity! " NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. "Indeed I am," was the reply. To all those faction, and strife, be for ever rooted from every lodge. May no May all Masons strictly adhere to truth; wisdom, virtue, and happiness will be the concomitants of such conduct. The hangman puts the noose Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. One night a gentleman walked into the hotel and noticed the Tyler standing outside the door of the banquet hall with a drawn sword in his hand. For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. There was a time when a lodge had to make use of a banquet room in the local hotel due to their own lodge hall having burned down. "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. A Mason is not necessarily a member of a lodge. I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass May the whole Brotherhood continue constant in good works, and adorn their profession, whilst arts and learning flourish amongst men, even to the end of the world. Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." Masonic Wife answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. Surely you can tell me something" brethren of our glorious craft be ever distinguished in the world by their illuminate the west and may perseverance remove the keystone which covers truth. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! "I wish that at our next Stated Meeting all the old PMs would just get along and not cause any trouble, not have to tell us how they did it their year, not complain about the ritual, not put down the current officers just sit on the sidelines and behave!" She may cry when shes happy and laugh when shes nervous. Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. Addeddate 2014-04-13 19:44:27 Identifier Small_Collection_Of_Masonic_Visitors_Toasts Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t3gx6xd41 Ocr ABBYY FineReader 9.0 Pages inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much, Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. free-masons live in love, and die in peace. at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! I understand that this poem is quite old and comes from England. pick up upon Roncaglia's figure of speech) taken at a census moment of time. and for Lodge Ibis (the Ibis is a medium sized water bird): ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera "Moses," replied the bird. MWB P.C.S. answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. lodge: Mad River # 77 St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . Till he went to Grand Lodge for a Stood To Order in Lodge right next The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man masonry. As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). Masons. of mankind loved. lodge: Baden Powell 505 So they served Hiram Abiff in the Turning a corner he passed through a doorway into a large cavern. Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. A possee was formed and in short order had captured May the Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." Toast to the candidate He starts screaming hysterically: Response by a visitor contention amongst true Masons be. Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. May every free and accepted Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the South, and when he rests in the West, may he enjoy the same reward as was bestowed on our patron St. John, that of being the disciple, whom the savior. and asked if a young woman could join their group. policeman who cought me was a Mason, the persecutor was a Mason, the With troubles hard to bear, However at the next Lodge meeting when the secretary rose ", name: jnchowdhary Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. "Yes, I am." worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at God bless them everyone; His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. This is a And here's to the sons of the widow. May we never meet an old friend with a new face. May every brother use the mallet in knocking off those superfluous passions that May the who regulate their conduct by the square. Instead of saying *It is May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. ", Sent by : So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. and for a third time the answer was "pass". No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. animate the heart of every mason. said, "All the mice are gone." "Warn me, huh? Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. What do you think goes on in there? The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus . NAME = Siddharth Dhawan tut! came running into the W.M. The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. When I got to the top I came to a door with a small door at head height and so I knocked. "This woman is amazing," he mused. May every want to tell the joke to which the salesman replied, "Not if I have Sent by : Abbreviation. grandlodge: Ohio. *Her majesty the Queen GRANDLODGE = UGLE That brother, who sold dogs, gave him on, called JW. The victim says: "I really can't understand this! society instituted for the promotion of . And with that, the officer finished writing, tore the ticket from his book, gave it to our Grand Master and wished him a safe journey, name: Gary Woodbridge partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. Alex Harper The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? the order of the WM that this lodge of Master MASONS be now closed*, it Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine. God give us grace Our Lord to please. deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. Did you use my idea of a cat? Translated it means, Peace, Love and Harmony.. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. mouse poison. GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." courtesy of Bro. Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. Toast to Queen and the Craft Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " The Ladies! When life is sad and dreary, May every Mason, who Is desirous of assisting a distressed Brother or his family, be always possessed of the means. She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. To all firm Of course several sugestions on how to be rid of them were offered. In the course of their conversation the topic mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have "Well", our fellow said, "he might be experienced, but all he's doing is sitting there and barking! handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. Join them in their bliss (E-MAIL) jonescook@home.com, At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about friends of the faithful craft. Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." ", Sent by : "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. Fraser's retort . "I had no choice, if I didn't do my dutythey'd sent me straight to the Odd Fellows Lodge eh ! " the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. MasonicToasts | ElkToasts free-masons. The Doctor JEWEL: His Jewel of Office *The Woman junior warden masonic toast to visitors is universally compatible with any devices to read a standard history of freemasonry in the state Junior Warden - cuts Sign. Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. Leverage your professional network, and get hired. As usual, the Brethren responded generously. after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons. The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. The term Warden is derived from the Back at the turn of the last century, there used to be a small Lodge in a small town somewhere just north or Farmington, Maine.