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18. I only fall in love with anime characters. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Youre not as bad as everyone says. (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. via: Pexels / George Pak. Totally fine! It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. I repeat I am plural! Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. 11. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. . Hello, how are you? If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. You may join me, though. "I'm alright, mate". I have been going through GOT in my work life. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". - Anonymous. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. I think I am doing alright. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. "You know I can do this anytime.". Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. but it's just so blunt and funny. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Are you flirting with me right now? If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. A little bit worse now that youve asked. I always root for the little guy. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Sorry, life. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." Going strong. What? Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Could be payday. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." Shane from The L Word? One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. 1. 14. Hmmph. 32. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! As for me, I cant even afford honey! For your information, Im in a relationship with food. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. Otherwise, we would still be with them today. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. 87. I havent met the right one yet. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." 18. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. 3. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. 53. It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Because they are already taking their time. (perfect for vegans). Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. If I had a tail, I would wag it! Why do you ask? I learned my lesson. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Im not single. Just Smile And Nod If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. What a miracle. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Im in a relationship with myself. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. I was actually talking to my friend". 93. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! What to say when your crush asks how you are? 55. Yup, I dont share it. I love you. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. More like give me a sign that. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. 16. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. 26. This one is bound to get a laugh. Your email address will not be published. Do you have a minute? But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. 51. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. funny response to are you still alive. Sort of. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. No, I'm Finnish. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? You a cop? Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. Funny as phuck. Not Bad. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? 36. 68. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. I am not sure what you mean. Not. Were already married, remember?! But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Spiritually? Best 45 seconds of my life. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. That's boyfriend material. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Don Draper? I'm overqualified! 28. Opposites attract, right? WHY!? Keep talking. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Dont wake me up yet. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. I'm afraid I can't do that. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Steven Wright (comedian). 58. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 4. Hanging on. Better inside than outside. I really thought you already knew. Who knows, they might just do it. Average, I think, that sounds about right. 59. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? Usually, people live and learn. Follow for more funny content!! Oh, a thought crossed your mind? If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. . But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Are you Jamaican? Are you going to help me have a good day? So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. 75. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. 2. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. I suggest you do a little soul searching. *Siri activates front camera*. But it can be funny. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. Did someone leave your cage open? I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! 1. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Oh, what a long list. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? 13. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. Oh, well 8. 60. 94. So, you changed your mind? Is everything stable at your end? Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Read more about Martin here. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. 45. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! 4. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. 11. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. 98. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Your hair looks great! 74. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. 66. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? Mentally? But Ive also had better. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". (Explained). 65. I favour the "How am I what?" Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. 4. 1. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. 17. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! I cant even afford to feed myself! (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). 71. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. (bonus points to you if you sing it). At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. You win the internet. I dont feel that great, but look! [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. 81. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. 8. Hopefully, youll stay there. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. 48. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 15. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Still with us. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. 15. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. In fact, they're taking too much of it. All rights reserved. 30. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. It's quite the accomplishment. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. What do you say when people ask you that? Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? 5. I never even listen when you tell me them. - Anonymous. Share the best GIFs now >>> How do you want me to be? 20. Image: wikimedia commons 6. There are nosy people everywhere! I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! 8. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. Keep calm and be awesome. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. 14. Don't Push It Too Far. *licks lips*. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't.