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Use these chocolate related pick up lines about different types of chocolate like candy bars, donuts, cake, drinks, and more. The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. 3. Despite their hard and often seemingly thankless work, elves have a great sense of . If only the sweets tastes like you then I would definitely start to love them. If you are a candy bar I promise I would refuse to share you with other people. Decad-ant Everyone will be happy when they see them, as they will raise their moods. Its a Ferrari Rocher.I heard a chocolate joke the other day, but it wasnt that funny and only got Snickers out of me.Life is like a box of chocolates full of nuts.A boy threw a milk chocolate bar at me. All Rights Reserved. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." "Keeps him from falling out of bed. (Its the only planet with chocolate.). Chocolate is not a matter of life and death its more important than that! When no one understands you, chocolate is there. Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Best Deez Nuts Jokes. Want to see those? Are you chocolate? Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . Friend 1: Well, I don't want to go to hell. You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. By eating a 1.5-ounce milk chocolate bar, you get the same amount of these protective compounds as in a 5-ounce glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. "For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds." I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses Hershey Common and the Heat Ray. In the beginning, the Lord created chocolate, and he saw that it was good. Half dark and half light chocolate. Do you love chocolate or hot cocoa? If you found these funny cookie jokes and puns ful-filling, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these: Baker Jokes. I LOVED THE ONE WITH THE OLD MAN/YOUNG MAN PEANUTS! Id give up chocolate, but Im no quitter. Consequently, these chocolate jokes can also make your frown turn upside down! Imogen life without chocolate! Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ab818a5f89fd344f6f5c1b7530f931de" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. ChocoLATE I would go to Italy and eat ice cream if I won the gelato-ry! I do not need anything special because you are enough special in my life. 81.12 % / 2071 votes. 5. There are only three things in life that matter good friends, good chocolate and, oh dear, what was that other one? A Candy Baa. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This is a text widget, which allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. Though, it is still possible to console yourself with chocolate jokes. I reckon its just a Chinese whisper. Well, jokes about chocolate can be funny or at least mildly amusing. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe, Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? A: Ask him to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. Then he separated the light from the dark, and it was better. Here are 50 funny Elf jokes, including Elf jokes for kids. I can make you so happy with all the stash I have at home. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. Laugh along with more jokes! You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!. If I have chocolate around, I will eat it. Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand! Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist? What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? Knock knock! That was really dairy of you to throw a chocolate bar at me in the street. But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? Diabetes.. Jake has diabetes What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate is an excellent energy booster, but it can make kids go crazy if they overeat. They had a baby, Ruth. What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Your site is very interesting. Men always leave but chocolate is forever! How did the hipster burn his mouth on hot chocolate?He drank it before it was cool.What do you get if you dip a cat in chocolate?A Kit Kat bar.What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar?I just stepped foot on Mars.What kind of biscuit can fly a space ship?A chocolate chip Wookie.Whats the suns favourite chocolate bar?A Milky Way.Whats the opposite of chocolate?Choco-EARLY.What do you call stolen cocoa?Hot chocolate.Whats an astronauts favourite chocolate?A Mars bar.What fruit loves chocolate?A coco-nut.Why did the M&M go to University?Because he wanted to be a Smartie.What happens before it rains chocolate?It sprinkles.What do you call a cow with a stutter?Cacao. Life is like a box of chocolates full of nuts! Copy This. The three best pleasures in life are scratching, sneezing and eating chocolate. Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796, So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. Currently you have JavaScript disabled. Were I to impregnate you, in several years the child will purchase you flowers and chocolates. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. I am always ready for something sweet like you. (Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.) What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? "People think I hate sex. I feel the rush upon eating chocolate whenever I hold your hand. A chocolate baa.They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. How do you make a pool table laugh? I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn't that funny So I just snickered. Diabetes. Babe, you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. Dairy, who? ao! Turn off the lights.I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. Why did the candy bar cross the road? Today, it's sunny with a chance of sprinkles! TheLaughFactory. Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I want to cum inside your chocolate factory. I dont like sweets but baby you are an exception to that rule. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? Whos there? I thought of you while having chocolate cake, because you are just too sweet. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? Foiled again. Andrew Weil, M.D. Whats the opposite of choco-late? Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. Candy! He turned into a box of chocolates. Friend 2: Can't, I'm not black. Baby I am only tempted by two things: you and chocolate. The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem" Chocolate Jokes. Chocolate Chewbacca cookies! No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. 3 Musketeers! A rocky road! Because you are the sweetest. Are you chocolate spread? Your email address will not be published. A pound a day often. Ted, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Fruit of all the kinds that the country produced were laid before him; he ate very little, but from time to time a liquor prepared from cocoa, and of an aphrodisiac nature, as we were told, was presented to him in golden cups I observed a number of jars, above fifty, brought in, filled with foaming chocolate of which he took some Bernal Diaz del Castillo, member of Corts force, describing a meal of emperor Montezuma, 1519, Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk. At home it is always sweet o clock. . Chocolates have the power to change peoples moods, and a box of chocolate will make most people happy also these chocolate one liners. Feel better now? While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. Candy, who? Empty calories: A hollow chocolate bunny? Girl I love to see and experience the sweetest you can be. Drink it cold. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. The man asks, "Why are you doing that? Joe Vinson, Ph.D., University of Scranton, Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the worlds perfect food. Ah! His aged and withered hand painstakingly made its way toward a cookie when it was suddenly smacked by a spatula. My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers around. I think of that again and again! If at first you dont succeed, have a little chocolate. Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. I do not want a piece of you because I wanted the whole lot of you. My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates which is, for sure, better than sex. There was a million dollars. Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? But he minded his own business.Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?He had a chip in his tooth.Why is a Toblerone triangular?So it fits in the box.There are two types of people in this world:People who love chocolate and liars.What is the opposite of Chocolate?Chocoearly.What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?Almond Joy To The World.Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?Because it lost its filling! Funny chocolate jokes are great for any celebration or any other day, especially for chocolate lovers. You can taek-won-do.Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?So that itll fit inside the box.In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.Preferred pronouns are Her/she.I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasnt arrived yet.Boy, its taking its sweet time getting here.People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.WellIve got a few Twix up my sleeve.I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.I said to him, I bet I could guess your favourite holiday!He replied, Have to love Easter, baby.Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.Theyll kill your dog.I love chocolate.Hard candy is for suckers.I put my friends chocolate bars in different wrappers. But chocolates chocolate. Taureano Ent says: August 13, 2019 at 2:00 pm Dear Star Wars, let us count the reasons we love you. Chocolate boosts your immunity and heart health and improves brain function. A moo-tation.Whats an electricians least favourite ice cream flavour? We're totally the "you made a really awesome kid" kid. See you in the Email! Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. Because she was a Her-She-y bar! I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. You make my heart melt faster than hot chocolate. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. What are the 4 major food groups? Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. The optimist sees the glass as half full. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. Its something that should be had on a daily basis. Chocolate is one of lifes simple pleasures. Am i enough for you? Love & Sex For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex. Ouch you are giving me a good kind of toothache just because of your sweetness. Peter Rogers, Ph.D., Institute of Food Research. Mother to son: "I'm warning you. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world. Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. He dips his nuts in chocolate. Yo mamma so fat, when she walked out of candy land there was nothing left! "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. 66 Frozen Yogurt and Ice Cream Pick Up Lines, 147 Deli Pick Up Lines (Meat Cold Cut, Cheese, Bread, Sandwich). They had a baby, Ruth. Chocolate Ice Cream. Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. But he minded his own business.. I hope in all the stars that you and I will not have any expiration date. You are a fountain of all the sweets in the world and that is why I love you. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you dont need an appointment. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, Put eat chocolate at the top of your list of things to do today. 5. A chocolate in the mouth is worth two on the plate. My dear, how will you ever manage? Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people. Is your name sweet because you absolutely are. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Wookies don't like steak because they think it is too chewy. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?A Candy Baa.My wife always cheats when shes dieting.She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other menDid you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?They had a baby, Ruth.What do you call a womanising chocolate?A cad-bury.How do you know its cold outside?When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTeWhy did they put Viagra in chocolate bars?You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? [1] Quick, Funny Jokes! What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Our team has some to share with you. - You can have chocolate in in public. There are many jokes about chocolate bars and chocolate cookies in our selection, so its a bit like opening a box of chocolates. eating chocolate You If there is one thing that every person should try in their lives, it would be having a bite of chocolate! Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. 2. Ill eat anything! The Archbishop of Cadbury. Get ready, because you will go ape over these banana puns: 1. Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105.". Available on Etsy. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. Better late than never, right? Nothing else comes to mind to finish this rhyme, so I'll just spit it out - most importantly, you gave us the Star Wars . Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! I heard you have a stash of kisses in your dorm can i possibly get one from you? Dont you think having you and sweet food in my life is redundant? The other watches your snatch. Edit them in the Widget section of the. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. Have you seen all jokes? 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, Funny Mum jokes DADS cannot compete against. Patrick Skene Catling. Roald Dahl, Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I swarm about to protect my nest of chocolate eggs. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? The perfect Valentines Day treat for anyone who loves chocolate (which is pretty much everyone). A chocolate bar.How do you turn the dairy chocolate turn into dark chocolate? We share them in our weekly newsletter. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Telling deez nuts jokes is a funny way to direct a conversation into utter nonsense! There was a sign next to it saying, "what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down". October 5, 2021 So I just snickered. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I probably have some sort of chocolate five times a week. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). The police are trying to catch him, but hes always got a few Twix up his sleeve! Why don't bananas snore? 4. Its important we remember the true meaning of Easter 10) Dirty Harry: A middle-aged septic tank maintenance man with an aversion to bathing and a love of off-color jokes is taken by surprise as his family and friends stage an intervention. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. What do you call stolen cocoa? You never know what youre gonna get. To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. You and I were mint to be! Youre hot, and I want to be on top of you. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Friend 1: Maybe you should go to hell! Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Sniggas. ", A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. A: Because it lost its filling I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. What do you call female chocolate? Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. He rubs it and a genie appears. I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. T-Shirts & Bumper Stickers In deaths agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. Cao-cao! Kuhtuhluh Report. Baby youre so sweet youd put Hershey's out of business! He slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and, with even greater effort, forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd? If you are a chocolate lover, youll surely enjoy reading these chocolate jokes too. So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right? Judith Viorst. I was going to get you a box of chocolates, but you already have a sweeter box. . Chocolate mousse! A Double Decker. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. Thats why Ive collected a list of best chocolate jokes for you. - Dr. 131 Star Wars Jokes That Definitely Have The Force. Chocolate is the greatest gift it was really great choice for gifting. . Hershey. You can use these phrases in whatever comedic form you like. Are you a chocolate bar? Chocolate Day Funny Jokes. "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. A: Because theyd enslave the black M&Ms, steal all the red M&Ms land, hunt the blue M&Ms to extinction, accuse the yellow M&Ms of obstructing trade, start a panic that the little green M&Ms were invading the Earth, and complain that the brown M&Ms were taking all their jobs. The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" A: He threw out the Ws. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. Mustering one final effort, he threw himself toward the table. Chocolate and kids together is a wild combination. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Because I want to cum inside your chocolate factory. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe. A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? MOVIE URBAN LEGEND: Roald Dahl hid a dirty joke in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is a beloved children's film and one of the things that people definitely love about it is how edgy the whole thing is. Mr. Goodbar! Heist cream! Get stuck in. Funny Cookie Jokes That'll Make Your Heart Crumble. Chocolate left in a car? "Sorry" says the attendant, "we're all out of chocolate ice cream." "In that case" says the man, "I'll have a pint of vanilla, a . Since I lost my teeth all I can do is lick the chocolate off the M&Ms.. You have this ability to make me so happy like only sweet foods can do. Oh damn I never knew having you would give me the good kind of cavities. You have this capability of making my taste buds so happy and I love that. You make my day complete just by getting a whiff of you. A Candy Baa. In fact, just one ounce of chocolate has about as much of these plant chemicals as a cup of brewed black tea. Life is what you bake it. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. Miranda Ingram, All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt! a!. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); - You can have chocolate in in public. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar? Ah, chocolate: one of life's simple pleasures. Because I would like to purchase a sweet like you. Those are really cool jokes man and the quotes are awesome, Amazing..Im craving chocolate now.drool drool, Imogen all the people The list wont be complete without the knock knock jokes. I only eat chocolate for you, so there will be more of me to love. These are great. The electricians favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. The little boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105.". Sandra Bullock, Twill make Old Women Young and Fresh; Create New Motions of the Flesh. I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves. Baby you satisfy me like only chocolate could. Chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate truffles, Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and then eat just one of the pieces. Nitric oxide plays such an important role in the maintenance of healthy blood pressure and, in turn, cardiovascular health. If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate! I like a piece every day. I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.So I try to eat healthy.But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.What type of snack is never on time?Choco-late.My cousin works in a chocolate shop.He works behind the bar.Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.They believe its Pharaoh Roche.My son is three years old and I took him shopping.When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket.Now, I didnt buy it and he certainly didnt buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewellers.A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars.I asked if I could have 2.He said, No. "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it. We suggest to use only working chocolate chocolate milk piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Donut be jelly. There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and people who love you. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. 1. Are you Hershey's chocolate? Just so you know I have a ref full of chocolate, a couch and good films at my house. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. Are you Willy Wonka? Later, at the Cacao Festival, I shared my CHOCOLATE letters with my new girlfriend, Ethel. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.