What does a frog use to keep away burglars? Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big! The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. There you will remain for the last of your days, alone and carrying the Law.". What did the police officer say to the hand? Samuel Johnson, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. All sorted from the best by our visitors. 30. Why did the police arrest the star? Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . on the next chapter in your life, J. My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! We help. Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. picclick.com. I tell them, a paternity suit. Abe Lemons. Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. 32. Best wishes! different scenarios on retirement income. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". Funny Retired Police Officer Golf Retirement Gift T-Shirt 4.8 (9) $1999 FREE delivery Wed, Mar 8 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Amazon Merch on Demand 5.0 (10) +4 colors/patterns Retirement Gift Ideas Police Officer Men or Women Mens Retired Police Officer Law Enforcement Sheriff Retirement T-Shirt 5.0 (1) $1799 We wish you the best of luck Chi Chi Rodriguez, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links Women go right on cooking." Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. Betty Sullivan, "Retirement is not the end of the road. Unknown, "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. Charles Francis Adams, The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. 12. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. Police retirement is something special. You ll laugh or cry when you read these famous quotations about retirement. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." 50. Unknown, Expect the best. And what do they give us? Clarence Darrow, "I'm not just retiring from the company; I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron." Enjoy.". Jean Chatzky sums it up for me: "Whether it's fly-fishing, taking your camper to the Everglades, or just traveling, everyone has got a little retirement dream. 21. Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. We all hope you enjoy your retirement. Chuck Knox, Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. Retirement is not in my vocabulary. 18. Have you been drinking?, Driver: I noticed your eyes are glazed over. Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. A police officer pulled me over and said, Papers.. Keep in touch . #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. We, the members of the NYPD, Unknown, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez R.C. . Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world? You might catch something contagious. 30. Junior Seau. Have you been eating donuts?, 6. the People of the City of New York. Know what you own, and know why you own it. Before the officer can even say a word at the stop, the mandressed in a tuxedoblurts out, "Sir you have to listen to me". Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. Off the clock - for good! Theres a man in the town whos stealing the wheels of police cars. Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? For retirement planning, you should consider other What happened? . I call it bliss." I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. 10. Funny cop retirement quotes. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . Do you have an investment policy statement? Their names are Bed and Couch. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. The officer looked at the mirror, handed it back and said, OK, you can go. Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes "It's your turn. My dogs dont even own bikes. Discover and share Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Finally a police car comes up. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Author Unknown, Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future, Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Please dont go now. shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Once police officers join the force, they are part of a tight-knit law enforcement community. 4. "That's great!" says the doctor. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}). Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. All the best for an amazing retirement! 64. Ifyou feel like theres something out there that youre supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. Financial Planning Richard Thaler, Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. Search, discover and share your favorite Retirement GIFs. Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise Hartman Jule, "I have never liked working. What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. Unknown, If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. as you follow in His way, To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Quotes tagged as "retirement" Showing 1-30 of 160. The purr-petrator. When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. West, You can never have the comeback if you dont have the retirement. Chael Sonnen, I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself. Walt Mossberg, Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop, A lot of friends complain about their retirement. We go. Here are 25 retirement quotes for the next phase of your life: Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. You're a free person! Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. You will always have a home here. As one chapter ends, another begins, welcome to your new . I said, Scissors. Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. Act like the inner young person you have always been." Fred Rogers The best is yet to come! We enjoy success due to your leadership, ~ Ernie Harwell. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. 5. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". Now that leadership is gone. Mason Cooley, Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. "Half our life is spent trying to find . However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. Oh, my friend, that can't be! This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial They arent going to get rid of me that way. Betty White, I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day OConnor, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty ONeill Collins, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Ella Harris, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young, Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. No gold watch could ever top it. Abigail Charleson. Having A Good Time Is My Job! Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. Simone De Beauvoir, The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. 2. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements, I have never liked working. A trisara-cop. You cant win until you do this. Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. 41. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Because it was mugged. Sherriff, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec. Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. Before you retire, save. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. Before you write, think. The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. I call it bliss. to date. Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. I am not. Here are some humorous options. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. 26. Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. Confucius, "Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. So, I do it three or four times a day. Gene Perret, Im not just retiring from the company, Im also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. Hartman Jule, Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house. Unknown, Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and how you want to do it. Catherine Pulsifer, Youre retired goodbye tension, hello pension. Unknwon, Retirement is wonderful. Take us with you! Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes. Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! I'm still not retired." Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community Present This to You as a Symbol of Well done on Crossing the Bridge you now can just sit and relax. Mason Cooley, Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. Some call it retirement. Retirement Wishes Continued: Think about it, now you never have to ask for a day off again. retirement 627 GIFs. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." Gene Perret, "Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! He says to the man, Were going to have to give you a drug test. Without hesitation, the man replies, Cool, which drugs are we testing?, 8. 23. 32. Cars are backed up for miles. We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. Unknown, "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm homeforever.'" "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! 35. Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. Law Enforcement Officer Wife Support Law Enforcement Police Family Police Life Police Force Heroic Men Nypd Blue Gun Humor Definitely! Samuel Johnson, In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire. Will Rogers, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. Connect with peers and experts, About Here it is, she said. #7 Dear husband, you have been successful all your life. From the movie: Judge Dredd. As we express our gratitude, we must never Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Anonymous 49 Police retirement Poems ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. "I'm not retiring. 39. - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. Its only my hat that makes me look that old.. Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog Share this quote on facebook send via mail. 24. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . acted upon as a complete financial plan. What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service 11. George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." 34. Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. Unknown, "Retirement: World's longest coffee break." "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". Happy Retirement! Custom and user added quotes with pictures. The job you waited for for 50 years! You've got a new assignment officer - enjoying your retirement! Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. General Letter Board or Cake Sayings for . Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs. Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'. Margaret Mead, A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age. Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Chris Pine, "Don't act your age in retirement. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. 13. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. 37. NewRetirement strives to keep its information and tools accurate and up Everywhere I touch it hurts.". W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. Take financial wellness into your own hands and do it yourself retirement planning: easy, Thank You for the 28 years you gave 40. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. NewRetirement Planner and PlannerPlus are tools that 48. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. provides you with a way to estimate your future retirement income needs and assess the impact of Whos the most famous lawn detective? Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. Happy retirement wishes! It means choice." You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. 29. Take Without Forgetting. Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. Get Started - Gail Sheehy. Some call it 'retirement.' Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. It is the only pleasure I have left. Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. 10. When You Retire, by Tree.Cards When you retire, you get to sleep more, It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. What do you call a female police officer playing guitar? 47. "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. We have rebelled against them. Margaret Nash, Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache unless you play golf. Gene Perret, I work harder now that I have retired from corporate life, than when I actually worked, but I love it. Catherine Pulsifer, I am a free man. Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. Thats how he contributes to the welfare of the community. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? Funny Quotes About Retirement "Age is an issue of mind over matter. Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. So I do it three or four times a day." Dave Allen, "I find the biggest trouble with having nothing to do is you can't tell when you are done." . 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A Russian man goes to the secret police and says, My talking parrot disappeared., I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn. Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket? Before you pray, forgive. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. While I love my job, I look forward to living life on my own time and having the freedom to travel with my husband, Kevin. As she dug through her purse, she became more and more agitated. - Malcolm Forbes. It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. services professional who has a fiduciary relationship with you before making any type of investment or What are the four food groups for cops? Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Retirement Quotes. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. Fred Rogers, "For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom." It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." I am graduating. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. Now, as the day dawns Unknown, "The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Congratulations. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices hes not wearing his required prescription glasses. Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. To the People of Barnwell County, SC. Have you ever been pulled over for a speeding ticket that you didnt think you deserved? Unknown, "Retire from your job, but never retire your mind." Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. We, the Officers of the Hartford Police A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. Does your kid want to be a policewoman when she grows up? 1. What Are The Very Early Signs Of Dementia? Thats becuase it was a shooting star. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready! I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! An officer observes a woman standing in the middle of the street.